No More Rolls

My way into healthy.

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shan-thinks-she-can asked: How's your week going?

Not very well, I’m going to be honest. I’m incredibly busy with school and with my jobs and I feel like I don’t have time to be healthy, as ridiculous as that sounds. And I’m not in the mindset to lose weight anymore; everything else seems to be consuming me instead. I wish I could go work out, but I simply don’t have the time. And I’m eating my emotions and my stresses again and the scale shows it. I’m scared that I’m going to keep getting bigger and that this is quickly turning into something way out of my control. I don’t want to do this the unhealthy way, but I’m afraid that that’s what’s going to happen. And that really really scares me. :/

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Saturday eating was bad. And by “bad” I mean I-went-to-Applebee’s-and-got-dessert-too bad. Hmmph. But I am not waiting until tomorrow to fix this and start a new day. Fuck that. It’s only 9:15pm. I’m going to the gym right now to get this taken care of. I’m starting a new day right now.

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In light of a bunch of you coming out of anonymity, the least I can do is give you a bit of a background of who I am. This is slightly terrifying because I’m used to being completely anonymous here, but I feel like it has to be done. So here goes.

My name is Erin and I’m a junior majoring in Psychology at Arizona State University. I’m 20 years old and I’m reallyyy looking forward to my 21st birthday, which is in March. I have two on-campus jobs and although they keep me extremely busy, I still love them anyway. I love love love to knit and play my guitar and I’m really good at using these activities to procrastinate on my schoolwork. My favorite musical artists are Imogen Heap, Hanson (yes, the Hanson), The Format, Matt Wertz, and Sara Bareilles. I’ve lived in Arizona my entire life and after I graduate from ASU, I’m moving to Fort Collins in Colorado. I identify as pansexual, which essentially means that I fall in love with people’s minds, not with what kind of body or gender they have. Yes, there are certain physical aspects that I find attractive, but these are not that important to me when it comes to falling in love with someone.

That’s all I can think of for now. I’m sure I’ll be updating you guys more on my life as time progresses but yeah. This is me. Also, feel free to ask me questions or whatever if you have any. I’m open to any questions or comments. :)

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So overall, today went well :) For the most part, I ate well and didn’t binge on anything (I’m really really proud of myself for this!) and I had a pretty good workout at the gym. The only thing that I’m not too happy about is that I had a cupcake at lunch. Buuuut I went to this delicious place called The Coffee Shop and they’re known for their cupcakes so I feel like it was acceptable. Especially because I just had one and ate it at a normal pace. But yeah, today was a good day and made me remember why being healthy makes me happier. On to tomorrow! :)

P.S. I think tomorrow I’m going to make a post about me so you guys know who I am. I’ve never done that on here before, but with all you guys coming out of anonymity, the least I can do is tell you about myself and my life outside of weightloss!

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shan-thinks-she-can asked: There was no way to reply to your blog post today and just wanted to say DON'T GIVE UP!!! You can do this!! Just do one thing today that would help you get back on track, preferably something that makes you feel happy afterward! Just one thing... then do another tomorrow! One day -- or one hour at a time. Sometimes the littlest positive thing you do will turn your whole world around! Hang in there!!

You are wonderful :) Seriously, this message just made me feel so much better about things. Everyone gets down once in a while but I don’t have to stay down, I’ve got to keep pushing myself. And even if one thing screws up during the day, it doesn’t mean the whole day is completely shot. I just have to keep reminding myself to keep going. So thanks again for this message, it’s exactly what I needed :)

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WIW 11/10: 174.4

Ughhhh. I definitely don’t like seeing those numbers. :(

I feel so discouraged, way different from how I felt this summer trying to lose weight. I feel like I can’t do it and that I’m spiraling out of control and there’s really nothing around that’ll stop me from gaining even more weight. And that scares me. I don’t know what to do.